Private Thoughts Go Public

All In The Fam

2010-09-30T13:15:00.006-06:00

This morning on my way to work, I got to thinking about my aunt. She recently had a birthday and I sent her a greeting….it sparked some memories and some thoughts.

My mom and her sisters were thick as thieves! They were always calling each other, always writing each other, and always visiting each other’s homes. My cousin was my best friend and we wrote letters back and forth. She would always send me cool things from a piece of bubble gum (un-chewed!) to a cool poster of Chet Baker and Elvis to her snakes newly shed skin. …Needless to say the posters were more loved then the skin!

Growing up we would spend the night at uncles houses, babysit cousins, head to CA for a few days in the summer, hear letters from aunts rightfully bragging about my cousins, and the every Saturday call from my aunt in VA.

Twenty something years ago, my mom’s family fell apart. It started with an uncle and just dominoed. Cousins were lost and beloved aunts no longer existed.

The reasons arent clear to me anymore, mostly because I don’t care anymore. I don’t care anymore because now, as an adult, I look back and think “Holy FREAK! 20 years of stupid ridiculous selfish anger that should have been let go 20 something years ago!” Twenty something years of my mom & aunts and uncles selfishly taking their children away from their cousins and creating a selfish wedge between family….the MOST important thing God gave us and the ONLY thing that’s left when nothing else is.

Instead, siblings disgustingly “took sides” against eachother. There is an UNcivil war being ridiculously and pridefully fought between eight siblings that once were so amazingly close.

Luckily, the 2nd generation has had a less selfish approach to our lives. I am very fortunate that the 2nd generation has been able to put away their parents ridiculous selfish pride and anger and try to be friends with eachother….tho not a small task at best.

And after 20 something years of not knowing my cousin that was my best friend since I was born, We recently reconnected and even though our paths will probably never cross again, I know she is still there and I know her heart is still open and I am so happy for her successes!

Heres my point….put the past away, forgive and get over things.

Is it really worth it to spend 20 something years, of a very short existence, angry at someone that you probably cant even remember the reason why you were angry at them in the first place and if you actually do remember, you realize it was absolutely ridiculous and selfish?

My aunts and uncles (including my mother) are going to die without eachother. Without watching their nieces and nephews grow up and become successful and happy….without getting back the best friends they ever had…..their siblings that they had 20 something years ago…..and all because they are so selfish and ridiculous. It’s the saddest and most pathetic thing I have ever witnessed and PRAY that it isn’t genetic!

Kiss Your Pit!

Letter to Someone Unknown

2010-09-18T12:58:00.022-06:00

Dear Someone Unknown:

When I first met you, you were so fun! You were happy go lucky, the coolest thing, I was sure, under the sun!

As time went by and I got to know you, there seemed to be something I couldnt quite place. As you got closer my uneasiness grew, it got stronger and stronger, tho nothing I could do. So, I set my uneasiness completely aside, you seemed to be so sweet with nothing to hide....but still that "something" I just couldnt place, nagged and nagged at me, did you have another face?

You were always so quick to include all around you, kindness and love seemed to emanate too...but that "something" still nagged at me, did you have another face?

And then one day that "something" became VERY clear. While watching your actions I noticed, I saw, that "something" that bugged me wasnt just a flaw. To my suspicion, and to your disgrace, that "something" indeed, was another hideous face.

That "something" was something that made my uneasiness grow and grow right into distaste!

I mentioned it once, I mentioned it twice, but no one would listen. So I stopped mentioning it, and silenced my distaste.

Then one day, the trouble all started. It escalated and grew til no one could deny it. Now they all saw that "something" I saw, that something I saw that came out from you.

So listen up, little Someone Unknown: Im not your pawn, not your victim, and certainly not a friend. I see what you are, I saw all along. Its sad, it hurts, it destroys everyone. But now, dear Someone Unknown, no one cares.

No one wants you, no one’s interested, no one’s playing your games.

Im sure that my statements seem contradicting.....if no one cared why write such letter? Well Ill tell you Someone Unknown, here it is very clear.....

You dont exist, you dont matter, youre a loser at best, I just thought Id finally say it and get it off my chest!

Kiss Your Pit!

Betrayal and Your Local Sociopath

2010-09-10T16:31:00.021-06:00

At some point in our life, someone betrays us and wreaks havoc with our emotions leaving us limping emotionally and sometimes physically (a good trigger for a manic episode :-))

A lot of times, we meet and invite into our lives, a very devious character that we find is nothing but a trouble making wolf in what looks like sheeps clothing.

And sometimes, that devious wolf has characteristics of an even more devious and vicious rabid wolf.

After watching something on TV the other day about family members of devious characters in history….it got me interested (mostly for my own sick interest AND to arm myself) in characteristics of sociopaths, co-dependents and cult leaders…..

Heres what I found.

One in 25 people is a sociopath. To put that in closer to home terms….if you have 180 people on your Facebook, 7 of those people are sociopaths.

Sociopath: Now mostly know as Antisocial Personality Disorder: irresponsible behavior, recklessness, impulsiveness, inability to tolerate boredom, feeling victimized, try to get their way without being considerate of others. They show spontaneous behaviour, which humiliates or harms other people. They lack any feeling for or understanding of norms, nor have they any feeling of guilt. They do not seem to be able to plan actions or to act with foresight. Deceitfulness, Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

Simply put…SOMEONE WITH NO CONSCIENCE

The description of the Cult Leader personality traits hits a little close to home. Im currently seeing these devious characteristics in a person Im acquainted with:

Cult Leader: Psychopath: Superficial Charm, Manipulative and Cunning, Grandiose Sense of Self, Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt, Shallow Emotions, Need for Stimulation, Callousness/Lack of Empathy, They may complain of being "burned out" due to the burden of "caring for" their “followers” and they isolate others from their lives.

And finally, the Co-Dependent. Ah yes….they think they are doing good, but when it comes down to it they are devious characters disguised as someone that wants to help you but when its not reciprocated, they are mad as hornets! Again, this one almost hits right on doorstep of home, again with the same person working their way out of my life.

Co-Dependent: Caretaking: think and feel responsible for other people, feel pity when other people have a problem, feel compelled to help that person solve the problem, feel angry when their help isn't effective, find themselves doing more than their fair share of the work, over commit themselves, and

the biggest tell of a co-dependent:

they feel victimized, unappreciated, and used

Look at your life. Do you recognize anyone with these traits?

Are YOU someone with these traits?

If by chance you meet a sociopath/psychopath RUN! Don’t talk to them, don’t listen to them, don’t even acknowledge their presence.

If you have a co-dependent in your life (and almost all of us do), Id say run, but chances are youd just turn around and slam into another one behind you waiting to console you!

Whats In A Name?

2010-07-10T08:20:00.014-06:00

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." -Juliet
Romeo & Juliet, William Shakespeare

Working in the construction industry I hear A LOT of things...but the one thing that always makes me giggle is nicknames for coworkers. It got me thinking about the phenomenon of nicknames.

I started noticing years ago that MOST men have a nickname or have given their buddies nicknames. Some men even nickname THEMSELVES...which I find fascinating.

In a group of women, you dont see that as much. Women tend to stick to the generic "Sweety, Girl, Honey" nicknames...all being endearing and tender.

Looking at men's nicknames for eachother you see a huge range of names stemming from the generics like "Bro", "Dude", "Man" all the way upto personal names like "Silent", "Birdle", "Nemo" or "Bobo".

And every nickname a man has seems to have some kind of story behind it. "Silent" was brought about because TADAAAA....the guy never talks.

In my family, we have I guess what youd call nicknames...."NeeNee" for Jeannie because my sister couldnt say JEANNIE, "NaNa" for Hannah, my mom calls my bro "Marsee", I call one of my brothers "Bug", and our baby sister is Lydia...whom has a million nicknames such as "Angelina" which Im not exactly sure that ties in with Lydia's first or middle name, "WeeWa", "Lyd" and my personal fav "Lou"....derived from calling her Lydia Lou.

Each name is endearing and tender, given with a lot of love. When my nephew (Coleman) was a baby, instead of crawling, he rolled....I lovingly nicknamed him "Roley Poley Coley". His sister (MacKenzie) is Mackerdoodles, and Byron is BB.

For those of us that are dog owners, think about all the nicknames you call your dog. My dog is named BlueBelle....I dont think she knows that because I call her "Girlfriend" "Sugar Pie" "Love Bug" "Cues" "Boobee" and "Boobee Coobee"

After writing all this down, I have been made shockingly aware, that I am, perhaps, as goofy as men are with their weirdo nicknaming conventions!

Lator Gators!

Rocky Videos

2010-05-30T12:20:00.014-06:00

Here are some videos Im so glad I took! (you may want to turn the music off to hear him snore...this is sooo mild compared to what he usually did!)

Rock Doing What He Does BEST!

Jeannie MySpace Video

Rock Run

Jeannie MySpace Video

A Lot of Mourning for Our Rock

2010-05-27T12:57:00.020-06:00

Rock passed away last week, Monday May 17, 2010, after 15 years of loyal and loving companionship. BlueBelle and I are still struggling, I sometimes just start crying and she wont go outside without me to encourage her.

We brought Rock home this past Tuesday. Cottonwood Animal Hosp got him back to me faster than I anticipated and bringing him home has helped me find a little peace....Blue on the other hand, started to act a little weird when she sniffed him. I dont think shes ready for closure quite yet....that or she just likes me feeding her people food out of my guilt!

Id like to thank the Cottonwood Animal Hospital for their extreme kindness.
The doctor even sent me a handwritten sympathy card.

Its sooo weird to not have him around and sometimes I swear I hear his clicky toes in the hallway....a sound that used to bug me like crazy but now I miss so much.

Here are some pics to enjoy.

Rocky Playing with his ball..his FAV thing to do!

Closeup of my Movie Star

Our Family

Trying to Take a Nap

Rock's 2nd Fav thing to do was suntan on the back deck!

Best Friends!

Our Beloved Rocky, Rest In Peace

A Few of My Favorite Things

2009-05-28T15:27:00.015-06:00

Took some pics of my some of my favorite things.

My Living Room Chandelier

My Friend's Backyard

Fun Flirty Heels that make your feet look FABULOUS!

My Backyard Swing under the Wisteria

How Does Your Garden Grow?

2009-05-16T12:52:00.017-06:00

When I bought my home, it was over run by ivy, virginia creeper, and nasty ugly hedges. I dont know if Im happy to report or not but Ive seemed to have killed almost everything......

Ive been thinking about that and Im likening my yard to my life.....heres some pictures to show you what I mean.....

Here we have My Life the last 6 years....dead, ugly, boring and lonely.....

These are the nasty hedges I killed last summer to be removed.

This is Lemon Thyme I planted last year...its one variety...it hasnt gotten very big...but it came back this year to try again.....

This is the other Lemon Thyme that I planted last year....it was the same size as the one above but it really really likes its locaton and has thrived!

Here we have Vinca....I planted 4 small vincas the summer I bought the house. The first year I didnt get the little flowers....but the second year I did....and now......

This is the rock bed that the Vinca have grown crazy in! It tickles me pink every time I see it!

So there you have it.....my yard kinda resembles my life.....
Things are starting blossom and look good!

Welcome to Wisteria Corner

2009-05-14T11:09:00.021-06:00

This year, my wisteria vine has come into bloom with HUGE fragrant blooms! Oddly enough, it started blooming with no leaves (which probably isnt odd at all I just dont remember year to year)....just branches of big huge purple blooms! Its fantastic! I leave my door open and my house fills with a very sweet scent!

Here are some pics.....

Beginning of the Very First Bloom

Getting Blooms

Vine filling in more

First Love

2009-04-27T14:43:00.011-06:00

Recently I ran into the my very First Love.

and my very First Heatbreak.

It was fun to sit and chat about how we met, my feelings at the time, his feelings at the time,

and how time goes by.

We got to talk about where life took us as we grew up.

Most importantly, we got to clear the air and speak our minds.....

something we have needed to do for 15 years.

My Heart is softened.

Its funny how after 15 years, you can look back on something that seemed so hard at the time

and actually fondly smile.

Love at First Sight

-Marcus Stone

Side Tracked Spring Cleaning

2009-03-22T12:48:00.014-06:00

Im packing up the winter wardrobe and unpacking the spring. In doing so, I went into the attic to get the sweater tub. I had put a box on top of it and decided to look in the box. It was full of pictures....ones I had packed up 8 years ago and have run into once in awhile but always tried to avoid.

I looked at those pictures really close this time.

This time I didnt get angry, or upset, or cry. This time I saw how handsome he was to me that day. Tall, proud and excited. I saw and remembered how he held onto me and stayed close to me. I remembered how everything felt and it made me smile

I packed the box up and put it in the roof....unaccessible

"Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be."

Name That Smooch!

2009-03-13T23:48:00.042-06:00

Im having a really hard time right now. I will no longer have my job in 2 1/2 weeks and its taking its toll. Depression is setting in, along with panic, stress, anger, disgust...you name it.

ANYWAY....

To distract the above issues, Ive been crusing for kisses! Im a big fan of romance so we are going to play a game that we're going to call Name That Smooch. Here are some pics....

See if you know what flick they are from.

Answers are at the bottom.

*MUAH!*

#10

BONUS

ANSWERS:

#1- Bfast @ Tiffanys (Audry & George), #2-Its a Wonderful Life (Donna & Jimmy), #3-Sixteen Candles (Molly & ?), #4-Lady & The Tramp (Lady & Tramp), #5-Ghost (Demi & Patrick), #6-Bfast Club (Molly & Judd), #7-Some Like It Hot (Marilyn & Tony), #8-Rebel Without A Cause (Natalie & James), #9-Romeo & Juliet (Claire & Leonardo), #10-Titanic (Kate & Leonardo), BONUS: Some Kind of Wonderful (Mary Stuart & Eric)

Bestest Friends and Truest Love

2009-02-27T21:40:00.006-07:00

I found this on the ASPCA website

and thought it was so sweet I HAD to share it!

(www.aspca.org)

Brock and Angel

Submitted by Lisa Presnail of Sebring, FL

When Angel first came into the lives of the Presnail family, she was emaciated, abused and near death. Luckily her future best buddy, Brock, came to the rescue. Lisa took them both to a vet hospital, where “big boy Brock” donated blood for the suffering lass. Says Lisa, “Now Angel weighs 41 pounds, and is healthy, happy, and in love with her big brother Brock. She adores him; he saved her life.”

Elizabeth and Mary

2009-02-21T19:31:00.007-07:00

I thought we could have a little history lesson......We are going to study the relationship of Queen Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scotts....Cousins....

Before Moray's rebellion Mary's secretary and adviser had been David Rizzio, a court favorite and a Roman Catholic. The king was now persuaded that Rizzio was the obstacle to his designs upon the crown. Acting on this belief, he entered into a formal compact with Moray; Lord Patrick Ruthven; James Douglas, 4th Earl of Morton; and other leaders of the Protestant party.

The result of this conspiracy was the murder of Rizzio in 1566. Early in 1567 the house in which Darnley lay sick was blown up by gunpowder, probably at the instigation of the Scottish nobleman James Hepburn, 4th Earl of Bothwell, who, since Moray's revolt and still more since Rizzio's murder, had been favored by the queen.

Darnley was discovered strangled close by the scene of the explosion. It was suspected that Mary herself was not wholly ignorant of the plot. Evidence substantiating this theory is reflected in incriminating letters and sonnets, allegedly written by Mary to Bothwell and found later that year in a silver casket. Bothwell was brought to a mock trial and acquitted; soon afterward he divorced his wife and married Mary in a Protestant ceremony.

This step at once turned the Scottish nobles against Mary. She was able to lead an army against them, and although it was equal in number to the confederate army, it was visibly inferior in discipline.

On June 15, 1567, Mary's forces were defeated at Carberry Hill, and she was forced to abandon Bothwell and surrender herself to the confederate lords. On July 24, at Lochleven, she was prevailed upon to sign an act of abdication in favor of her son, who was crowned as James VI five days afterward at Stirling.

Escaping from her island-prison at Lochleven on May 2, 1568, she was able within a few days to assemble an army of 6000 men.

On May 12 her army was defeated by the regent Moray at Langside, near Glasgow.

Four days afterward, in spite of the entreaties of her best friends, Mary crossed Solway Firth and sought refuge at the court of Elizabeth I, queen of England, only to find herself a prisoner of Elizabeth for life.

Of the ensuing intrigues to effect her deliverance and to place her on the throne of England, the most famous was that of Mary's page, Anthony Babington, who plotted to assassinate Elizabeth.

The conspiracy was discovered, and Mary was brought to trial in October 1586. She was sentenced to death on October 25, but not until February 1, 1587, did Elizabeth sign the warrant of execution, which was carried out a week later.

Moral of the story...

Becareful whom you trust,

Be even more careful whom you conspire with,

And if you value your head...NEVER piss off the queen.

With an Itch and a Smile

2009-02-15T19:08:00.007-07:00

Have you ever seen a dog contort into "face stratching stance"?

Its the funniest thing in the whole world!

Today I watched BlueBelle get into the stance and she got this sweet, content, happy almost smile on her face as she closed her eyes and enjoyed stratching.

It immediately put a content happy smile on my face.

(this is the stance I was telling you about...however...NOT the face!)

My Fav-O-Rite Kisses! MUAH!

2009-02-13T20:49:00.013-07:00

Valentine's Day is here!

To celebrate, here are some of my favorite hollywood kisses! *MUAH!*

Phantom of the Opera

On the Waterfront (Marlon Brando HUNKA HUNKA!)

My Best Friend's Wedding (not a kiss but I love it)

From Here to Eternity

Never Been Kissed (my Fave Fave FAVORITE!)

Anne of Green Gables the Sequal (aaaahhh....FINALLY!)

Mom & Dad

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

VD Count Down Continues!

2009-02-10T17:45:00.002-07:00

Please enjoy this sweet clip from one of my favorite movies....Lady and the Tramp.

The Count Down to VD Begins!

2009-02-08T21:17:00.004-07:00

Lets start the countdown to VD (Valentine's Day) with this FANTASTIC clip from "To Have and Have Not" starring Lauren Becall and Humphrey Bogart. Some of the best lines ever written!

2009-02-07T09:03:00.005-07:00

Have you ever had a dream that was so devestating,

you awoke crying?

Damn the Addiction!

2009-02-02T23:25:00.018-07:00

I did it....I signed up for Facebook....Yes folks...ME.....in Facebook.

What a stinkin RUSH it was to sign up on Friday night and by Saturday afternoon have 30+ friends! It blew my mind!

Couple that with meeting the cowboy on that dating website, and Ive been BUZZING for days!

But alas...all good things must end.

The cowboy that I was really starting to dig, didnt pan out..... and facebook is slowing down.

I remembered one of the reasons I dont chat on line....I get madly addicted to the attention and when I dont get the attention I was previously getting, I start to get really depressed and my self esteem crashes HARD. (if you just coughed "needy" under your breath youre not wrong!!!!)

So, I dropped my membership to the dating site, and Im going to have to check out of Facebook world and into rehab til I gain some control again.

Hello, My Name Is Jeannie and Im an Attention Addict

Out of Work

2009-01-29T22:26:00.010-07:00

Its happened.

My job is gone the end of March.

Whiner and Survivor

2009-01-28T11:01:00.006-07:00

Oh what a F-U-N night we had last night!

Put the dogs out at 10pm and then again right before going to bed...around midnight. About 3am Rock started pacing and whining, pacing and whining. I figured he was hurting since the weather is changing again. So I just let him pace. Then it stopped and I heard him do his lay down grunt from afar....he was camped out at the back door. He wanted out.

So about 445am I got up and let him out. I was so mad and exhausted, I left both of them out til a little after 6am. During most of that time it was quiet and then Rock started barking, whining and wimpering!

I went to let them in. As usual, Rock was standing at the door whining and Blue.....Blue had found a spot on the patio and had settled down.

That is the case any time this scenerio happens. Ill leave them out for a little bit, Rock barks and whines while Blue....Survives.

I live with an uber diva

AND an independent slightly insecure survivor

Have YOU Kissed Your Pit Today?

*MUAH!*

Old Habits are Dying Hard

2009-01-25T13:56:00.027-07:00

About a week ago, a friend at work sat me down and told me that he was starting to get worried that I was becoming a "shut in".....and he wasnt delicate! He said that my decision to not date or get involved with anyone was very concerning and he thinks unhealthy.

Needless to say, he didnt listen to me when I told him that Im just not there right now and Im perfectly happy, because he went on and on about how anti social behaviour is very damaging.....thank you MECHANICAL ENGINEER!

My point is this, hes right....to a degree. And Im right....to a degree.

I am NOT ready to be social with anyone....not friends, not family, not men, not women, NO ONE. Im just not.

BUT.....he did talk me into.....signing up on an on-line dating site. I know what your thinking....NUTSO! But dont worry.....I cant wrap my mind around ever getting involved with someone again so its hard to take it seriously.

I digress......

Ive met one man. ONE. And hes 13 years older than me and lives out of town (still in UT tho).....and we all know how the out of town thing works out (it doesnt!).

Back in the pre-medicated days (or the FUN days as Im now referring to them) I wouldnt hesitate heading out of town on a whim. It wouldnt have phased me that its late or raining or that its possibly snowing or my car is ill-equipted for all that. I would have just left.

This weekend.....It hit. Oh boy did the whim hit! I wanted to go and I wanted to go BAD.

But all those things I just mentioned, occurred to me, and the magnet that was drawing me out the door, was loosing its pull and it almost physically hurt.

Sometimes the medication that keeps me "grounded", SUCKS! (pardon that poor descriptive and gross word)

If I wasnt so afraid of loosing everything Ive suffered so bad to get back, and afraid of winding up living on the street or, even more likely, DEAD, the meds would be down the toilet.

I feel like Im trapped in Edvard Munch's THE SCREAM

Baby You Can Drive My Car! Vroooom!

2009-01-24T17:54:00.017-07:00

Today I was just out and about and spotted a car I had put on my "Cars I Might Be Interested In When Im Done Paying for My Last Marriage" list. It was a Dodge Magnum.

Since I have had absolutely NO interest in getting into debt ever again my in my life, the thought of buying a new car has not been as appealing to me as it once was.

But recently Ive had a few little troubles with the mobile so the thought has crossed my mind that maybe I should consider considering the purchase of a new car. UG-O!

So anyway....back the Magnum.....I was driving down the street and spotted this pretty little red Magnum. So I pulled into the dealer lot, confidently got out of my car and went in to get a salesman.

I told him I just wanted to see the INSIDE of the Magnum because it was on my list of "Cars I Might Be Interested In When Im Done Paying for My Last Marriage" and I wouldnt be purchasing anything until after I was indeed done paying for my last marraige.

Thats when it happened.....he started to treat me like A GIRL! Started rattling off about mirrors and cup holders, and then said "And it will be really expensive insurance because its more of a collectors car than an every day car." And thats when I lost it....

"Just open the FREAKING car!" I belted. Not very lady like or professional but it proved effective!

He immediately unlocked the doors.

Much to my dismay, the Magnum is now OFF my "Cars I Might Be Interested In When Im Done Paying For My Last Marraige" list. The magnum is NOT a station wagon......it is more of a long sports car with an open trunk.....definately not a good doggy transporter.

So once again, the FJ Cruiser seems to be the only car left on my "Cars I Might Be Interested In When Im Done Paying for My Last Marriage" list. Beep Beep! YEAH!

Ahhh...Romance

2009-01-21T23:32:00.008-07:00

Since Valentine's Day (or as I like to refer to it...VD) is approaching....Ive had romance and love on the heart.

I thought these sweet little vids would help get us all in the mood for.....VD.

A Kiss is NOT Just a Kiss

2009-01-19T00:36:00.010-07:00

Rocky and BlueBelle have been together for four years now. It was a bumpy start to say the least but as time has gone on, they have become best friends.....HOWEVER........

They never really interract with eachother (other than the occassional chasing) and never once has BlueBelle ever returned the "affection" Rocky has given her. Now I know its not really affection when a dog licks another dogs ears or face but it looks like it is and I like to think of it like it is. Rock loves to go to town on Blue's ears and there are times when she walks over to him and stands there almost demanding it. He'll lick her till shes completely soggy.

But never once in the four years they have been together has she EVER given and returned the ear kisses....or any kisses of any sorts.....til yesterday!

Oh YEAH! FINALLY!!!! Rock was on the sofa with me when BlueBelle got up, walked over and very quickly KISSED HIS FACE! It was only one small KISS and done very quickly, but she did it! AND THEN.....She did it again! I got so excited I started to scream which only excited them. But it was worth a celebration of doggy treats!

Finally after four years, they will lay next to eachother actually touching and FINALLY after four years, BlueBelle showed some "affection" to Big Rock!

I was able to snap this pic before the elusive camera hating BlueBelle jumped down and disappeared.

Pink is My Fav-O-RITE Color

2009-01-16T17:32:00.006-07:00

And this is whom society thinks is cool!
Good Grief! Listen this idiot speak!

I think they should dye the hair on his HEAD and on his CROTCH Pink for his entire sentence! Even dye his eyebrows pink!

And then, after leaves AZ like he says hes going to, if he EVER even commits a crime, they should send him back to Sheriff Arpaio!

Heres the story as seen on Yahoo!....but you HAVE to hear this guy talk....what an IDIOT!

DMX Adopts Pink Prison Wardrobe
Posted 30 minutes ago by Billy Johnson, Jr. in Hip-Hop Media Training

Looks like Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio has come up with the cure for DMX's addiction to jail. The hip-hop star and repeat offender, like all of Arpaio's other inmates in the Maricopa county jail, must wear pink t-shirts, underwear and socks.

The girlie wardrobe colors caught DMX by surprise. "This is ridiculous, this is disrespectful," DMX said with a sarcastic laugh during an interview with My Fox Phoenix. "Why the pink?"
Arpaio told Fox & Friends he has had the pink policy in place for 10 years with success. He said the inmates were stealing the white underwear so he dyed them pink.

According to Arpaio, DMX is serving time for charges of animal cruelty, drugs and fraud. Arpaio did not express any sympathy for the hardcore rapper, adding, that jail was not supposed to be fun.

DMX misses the good ole days. "This is not where I want to be man," DMX said. "It used to be, I'll go there, I'll be the life of the party, and ... it's nothing."

Requiring male prisoners to wear pink undergarments is emasculating, but listening to DMX talk about going to jail as if it is a hangout spot is not fine either.

Maybe Cam'ron can give X a pep talk. Cam'ron and other Harlem MCs have always been fine with the springtime pastel color.

Defeated and Deflated

2009-01-15T21:18:00.011-07:00

Do you ever feel completely defeated?
Like no matter what you do
No matter what you say
No matter how hard you struggle
No matter what
Youre always......just......defeated?

Elvis Elvis Elvis

2009-01-12T16:16:00.009-07:00

Since this was the birth month of the King, I thought Id post my fav Elvis Movie Songs!
YEAH! (*Insert lip quivver here!*)

Viva Las Vegas - The Lady Loves Me

Follow That Dream - Angel

GI Blues - Big Boots

Fun In Acapulco - Bosa Nova

Rock-A-Hula

Snuggle Bunnies...er...Snuggle PUPPIES!!!!

2009-01-09T16:50:00.014-07:00

GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS!

What FANTASTIC news!!!!

This update is is from the Best Friends website http://www.bestfriends.org/

From dog fighting to dog snuggling
January 5, 2009 : 8:54 AM ET

Quick, it’s time to buy some presents! Not the holiday variety, though. We’re talking about can openers, sofas, curtains, and silverware. It’s a house-warming party for two of the Vicktory dogs!
Before you get too excited, they haven’t been adopted yet.

But for Little Red and Handsome Dan, it’s a big step in that direction. These two snuggle monsters are now living in the same play area. It’s a far cry from dog fighting! These two pups, rescued from the property of former NFL quarterback Michael Vick, are now snuggling it up together.

When they first arrived at the sanctuary, the Vicktory dogs had a long road ahead of them in so many different ways. One of the biggest was confidence. Some of the Vicktory dogs were so totally afraid of everything around them that they commando-crawled everywhere they went, just to stay closer to the ground and out of the way. Each one lived alone in a private play area.

It’s incredible how far they’ve come. They conquered loose-leash walking, socialization, basic training, and learning how to play. Oscar has even become a Canine Good Citizen! No question, the Vicktory dogs are not the same dogs who rolled off the truck, afraid of their own shadows.

And now, Little Red and Handsome Dan are at the point where they can live together as play pals. Some space opened up in another part of the sanctuary, and the caregivers and managers thought this was a good chance to give them a new experience. So two of the Vicktory dogs, all of whom many people thought would never get along with other dogs, are now happy and well-adjusted roommates. These two dogs who have had such a rough life can now zip and race around in their very own play area as only best buds can do.

Surely that’s worth a celebratory chew toy or two! Congrats, you guys.

Story by David DicksonPhoto by Molly Wald

Learn more about these amazing dogs on the Vicktory Dogs page at Best Friends.

Little Red and Handsome Dan can also be sponsored!

Have YOU Kissed Your Pit Today? *MUAH!*

Pinup Girls Pose for Pit Bulls

2009-01-04T14:15:00.017-07:00

I was recently cruising around the Discovery Channel website and came across this story. What a noble cause I think! And the $$$ they earned and donated to "bully breed" education and rescue just from the sales of a CALENDAR!!!! AMAZING!

Have you Kissed Your Pit Today?

*MUAH!*

Funniest Commerical So Far

2009-01-03T00:11:00.004-07:00

So its 2009...Im collecting my fav commercials starting with this one.
I laughed so hard it got the dogs excited and they jumped on me....THATS a good laugh!

Enjoy!

New Toy

2009-01-02T20:42:00.009-07:00

I got a new toy!

Once upon a time, my lil sister asked for a vacuum for Christmas....We thought she was nuts!

But after growing up and having to clean MY OWN house, especially with two very VERY hairy children lounging all over the floors, I see why she would get so excited over a new vacuum.

Here is my new toy!

Its the Bissell Pet Eraser

I just finished taking it for a spin and holy wow!

Not only did it suck dirt up from the crawl space thru the living room floor AND get ALL the dog hair, its an awesome WORKOUT! This bad boy is self propelled and crazy heavy!

I LOOOOOOOOVE IT!

Meet...My Clan

2008-12-31T23:02:00.025-07:00

The Parental Supervisors....WAIT A SECOND! Whos supervising the supervisors?????!!!!!

The Engaged Sister, Her Man and two of the 4 kids

(hmmmmm.....apparently I forgot to tell them to SMILE!!!!)

The New Parent Brother, his wife (and new mama) and the new baby

(They make it look easy dont they!!!!)

The Rockin Little Brother and his soulmate (who has mad crab cracking skills!)

The Newly Wed Little Sister and her new hubby luv muffin

(she cant keep her lips off him!!!!)

And Then There Was SNOW

2008-12-27T10:10:00.006-07:00

Its day...well Im not sure what day this is....

The snow hasnt let up.

I fear snow insanity is starting to snow in.

Due to extreme snow boredom I rumaged thru the attic looking at pretty much nothing when I came across an ice pick.

Im thinking it might be the perfect snow tool to dig myself out this snow cave.

But once out, what do I do? Where do I go and how would I get there?

I havent seen my snow car in days.

Im afraid the Abominable Snow Man has taken it for a snow ride.

Im running out of snow...I mean food.

I find myself eating a lot of snow cones.

My tongue is snow raw.

Im thinking I might move to another state where the snow lets up once in awhile....like Alaska....I hear they have a lot of snow single men.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it....ENOUGH ALREADY!

2008-12-26T13:08:00.015-07:00

It snowed....AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN!

Last night around 11pm I shoveled and by the time I got done (around 1130ish) and walked back around the house to the front door....it needed it again.

This morning I got up about 5am and went out to shovel again. Im glad I shoveled the first time! I also had to dig my driveway out from the snow plows that had piled it up in front. Cant complain tho, at least they plowed this time!

Is it against the law to shovel snow back into the road?

Heres a Rockin video for ya....its one of my most favorite things to watch!

Rock Run

My Fav All Time Holiday Flick Moment

2008-12-20T21:27:00.005-07:00

This is my all time favorite Holiday flick moment.

Not only does it make me laugh so hard I sNort, its also very sweet.

Georgia on My Mind

2008-12-20T15:30:00.008-07:00

As most of you know, I am an advocate for breed education, anti breed legislation, animal rescue and animal rehibilitation....especially when it comes to the beautiful, loyal, wonderful "bully" breeds...aka...Pit Bulls, American Staffordshires (like my Big Rock), and Staffordshire Terriers.

This past week, Ellen Degeneres featured the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary and the rescued pit bulls they recently rescued this year and are now caring for. She did a FANTASTIC job with the story and public breed education....mentioning how the "Bully" breeds are exploited for disgusting and immoral gain. The video is 8 minutes long but its a worth while 8 minutes....especially when they bring Georgia (one of the rescued dogs) out.

From Mine (kinda) To Yours

2008-12-07T15:09:00.026-07:00

For the last few years, Ive wanted a family pic...me, Rock and Blue....and for the past few years I havent gotten it. Hannah tried once to come do some pics but that didnt work cuz the dogs got all worked up and wanted to show off....it just didnt work.

This year I thought Id do them myself.......so from my family to yours....Happy Holidays!

(Im available to capture your very special moments too!)

Bleeding Hearts & New Babies

2008-12-04T22:53:00.011-07:00

Im not sure if it’s the extreme exhaustion or the weather, or meds not masking emotions, or what the cause, but I am sad….or at least I think that’s what Im feeling.

A friend had her baby this past week and I went to visit her and her husband in the hospital. We have been friends for a few years and shes been thru a lot with me. A much needed crutch when ive needed it, a much needed cheerleader, a much needed ego booster, a much needed….friend.

But as I sat at watched the family interacted with the new baby and watched the way her husband doted on her and loved on the new baby, a change that I had seen a couple years back was finally so visible and so undeniable…..and so solidified…..and....my heart hurt. Perhaps Im not sad, perhaps Im mourning that change….finally.

Her life has achieved perfection….a lOving, caring, hard working husband that she adores and he returns the adoration, and babies that are sweet and super kissable (if you can catch them!!!!)…..the things I have always considered success….and the only things that have been completely unattainable to me.

So I sat and watched in adoration, envy, hurt, sadness, jOy, and excitement, as my friend’s life took one more step towards a magnificent goal. I could see lOve radiate from her and all around her. Even in her extreme exhaustion….there was so much lOve…..a thing I dream about and am sooooo thankful she has and that she has for me.

My Favorite Dancing Moments

2008-11-26T22:16:00.005-07:00

Why do we love Juliann soooo much??? hmmm.....Cuz she can MOVE IT MOVE IT! grrr!

Not bad for a big ole football player....

Why we love Juliann's Bro....cuz Hes the one that we want!!! oo oo oo!

Laila can box but BOY OH BOY can she DANCE!!!!

Dating is Like.....

2008-11-24T16:37:00.009-07:00

Since my recent med change, Ive had a real mellow vibe going on. I feel very peaceful and very insightful....able to see things a little deeper. Last night I was laying in bed and I got a thought......

Dating over 30 is like having your head in the toilet....

youre constantly trying to avoid the doodoo!

Hows THAT for clarity!

Old Faces Old Books

2008-11-10T18:50:00.014-07:00

I have recently found myself immersed in a nasty new hobby....blog stalking....or to be more percise...FaceBook stalking.

What a nasty stupid little website that is. Im sure Im not alone in this thought "I wonder what happened to so and so from HS". This FaceBook website allows you to somewhat find out. I havent figured the site out all the way, my sister tells she can see profiles, but when I try to see them I dont. But it gives just enough information that I feel like Im back in High School.....its exhausting.

Senior Pic 1993

But whats more interesting is, nothing has changed. Ive been out of HS for almost 15 years now and yet, its still the same people in the same groups....NOTHING has changed.

High School wasnt that special for me. It was a form of daily torture, required by law. I didnt attend graduation...thats how detatched I was.

Nobody has changed, the party people still seem to be partying, the pretty girls are still being pretty, and the geeks are programmers.

After a Squawk-a-Pella Concert

I looked up a bunch of people from my childhood too and was SHOCKED at the changes....mostly because in my head they are still the cute little boys from 6th grade....and thats where I prefer them to stay.

I feel almost traumatized....like Im being teased, judged and ignored all over again...and I didnt even make contact with anyone of them. Strange the effect it has had on me.

B4 Senior Dinner Dance

(Cropped NOT to protect dates identity but to protect MINE!)

For such an akward time in our lives, why do some want to hold on to it so closely?

Romance is in the Air

2008-11-09T00:11:00.012-07:00

Since VD (Valentine's Day) is approaching....Ive had romance and love the brain. I thought these would be a good start to celebrating.....VD. Here are some of my very favorite Romance scenes.

Snow Flakes Keep Falling on My Head

2008-11-05T21:24:00.014-07:00

So.....It SNOWED last night....not just a little but A-LOT!

Like waaaaay a lot.

I wasnt aware of this, so this morning I spent a few very precious minutes (I woke up late) trying to convince the Rock that he was indeed going to go outside. Hes from Southern Cal and after four years, he still hates the snow...HATES HATES HATES it.

This is usually how it starts....."Rock get up. Time to go potty."

Nothing

"Rock come on. Get up."

"ROCK! Please! Get up!"

Then he gets up and gets to the door to discover.....ITS COLD MAN!

So then we go to......

"Come on Daddy go out"

Then a little nudge and "Daddy COME ON! GO OUT!"

Followed by "ROCK! I MEAN IT!"

Finally "ROCK OUT!" with a light shove out the door.

Blue on the other hand runs to the door and doesnt even hit the deck as she flies out the door. She love love LOVES it! She bounds thru the yard scooping it in her mouth with each leap.

Mama likes it because the barks dont echo and no one can see that I didnt rake the leaves!!!! YESSSSS!

What Leaves?

This Month is SUCH a Special One!

2008-11-02T00:12:00.015-06:00

November is typically a busy month all around....I scurry around trying to get as much done as possible before it gets deathly cold. I get my oil changed and make sure everythings working right on my car, I up my insurance so if I accidently slide into someone on the road I am covered and dont loose my house. I mentally make prep for big dinners and having to see family and listen to eachothers versions of the horror story we call childhood. And I become a serial rakist.....7 trees.....its a lot of raking....A LOT.....

But the most important thing that happens in my life in November, is the "Birth Day" of Rock and Blue.

In 2003, I came home for a short visit and was shocked out of my ever loving mind at the sight I beheld....A DOG!......a dog IN my parents house!!!!!!!! A little tiny puppy with HUGE floppy ears that didnt fit her tiny body! AND....she was in looooooove in my dad. She was following him around like a little lost puppy and it was A-DORABLE!

About 1 Year Old
Her name was Blue. My bro was in college at had decided that the best decision he could make in life while in college is to get a puppy. He brought her to the folks place after realizing....DUH! My mother didnt like Blue's name as just Blue so she called her BlueBelle to feminize it a bit. It stuck. I instantly adored this puppy....being a recent inherited dogsma. It was a good thing too, because the minute I saw her I knew shed be going home with me. I took her home in November.....its not her real "Birthday", but thats the when she came to me. Weve been thru a lot of junk together and love and adore echother desperately!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUEBELLE!!!!! *MUAH!*

In 2005, I lost my beloved AnnaLiese and was devestated......Little BlueBelle was equally devestated and lonesome. I immediately got on line and found Rocky. He was out of state but his owners were willing to work with me. I told them I would meet them in Kanab, they agreed and then a week before we were going to meet, they called and said they were coming to SL anyway. FABULOUS!!!!

Internet Pic Age 9 or 10

They got here on a Friday night and called me from their hotel. I ran over (dripping with excitement!) to meet them and meet Rocky. They opened the door to their room and he was standing on the bed....all 100lbs of mass muscle (I wish I had pics of him before he started declining and loosing his muscle mass).

He looked like he was smiling and jumped off the bed and came bounding to me burrowing his head between my knees (an act he still does). He alsmot knocked me over and SCARED me to death! How could I have that beast in my house!

We said good night and I went home but didnt sleep all night out of anticipation for Rocks arrival the next morning. His owner called at 8am sharp ready to bring him over and to check his new digs.

Rock scoped the house, peed all over the yard, wouldnt come when she called him so she told me a few of his tricks, gave me his leash, hugged me and walked out the door. That was it......I vowed that I would make his last years comfortable, posh and spoiled. He vowed to bark scary, impress all that saw him, walk well on a leash, learn not lick my head off when kissing, and love me unconditionally. I think we've both held up our ends.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCK! *MUAH!*

Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are!

2008-11-01T17:15:00.063-06:00

Ive been loosing BlueBelle the last few days.

Ive been in the yard and panicked

because she just disappears.

Heres why....

See what Im talking about!!!

She just blends into everything in the yard!

Thank heavens she comes bolting when I call!

ps...check out those incredible eyes!

Its a different story with Rock.....He doesnt blend into anything but the dark (ive tripped several times and stepped on him so much Ive learned to turn the light on before walking in the hallway)

Peek-a-Boo!

We had a Fall Play Day Today!

I think it bored Rock

And Kinda Bugged Blue

What the WOOF!!

Four Years Together and She Still Has to Make Sure its Really Him

After lots of chasing,

we were tired and happy.

Time for a treat and a nap!

Playing, Laying and La Ti Da

2008-10-27T00:05:00.026-06:00

Since the weekend was sooooo bea-U-tiful the kids and I spent most of it outside just dinking around....

Blue in the Dog Park

Rock cant go to the dog park any more so we just play soccer and lounge in the Back Yard.

The soccer ball is an old basketball that he chomps on and kicks around.

Trying to get a pic of him actually biting down and crushing it has proved impossible!

He likes to walk thru and get tangled up in the vines and pull the vines down.

Pun COMPLETELY Intended

2008-09-21T09:59:00.002-06:00

Oh what a crappy weekend! And I mean that literally!!!!

Friday evening I came home from work, opened the door to walkin the house and HOLY SWEET MOLY!!!!!!! Someone had had a violent accident all over the living room! I started to immediatley dry heave (my gag reflex isnt as gagless as it used to be) and RAN to the back door to let the kids out. Then the hunt was on!!!

I found it! Explosive, extremely odoriferous, excriment ALL OVER the living room! So I got a mask, sprayed it with body spray (to block any smell that would come up as i cleaned), got my rubber gloves, cleaner, paper towels, cleaner, more cleaner, Fabreeze, even more cleaner, handi saniwipes and headed to the task.

OH! was i glad i sprayed my mask! This was like nothing....oh man!!!! Ive cleaned up a lot of dog messes but this one took, the.....well it just knocked me over!

After cleaning it all up, degloving, demasking, debooting, and degagging, i went outside to check on the kids. I knew who it was the minute i came home....not the one you all would expect.....it was BlueBelle. And she was uncharacteristically laying on the deck.....not moving well. I told her to go pottie and was almost horrified at what she did.

She could barely stand up, and once she finally stood up she was having a hard time going down the stairs. I didnt help her because i wanted to watch to see if this was just me being super paranoid (i know i know theres a shocker of a concept!), if she just had a little burn going on or if there was a problem.

It was a mix of all three. She finally got down the steps and found a spot and HOT MAGMA shot out! POOR THING!

But her walking was labored and it almost looked like she was favoring a leg....but i couldnt figure out which one so i decided on both.

We went inside and I watched her move....not very well. When she layed down it looked like agony. After about 2 hours of monitoring her lack of movents, I decided there was something more than hot magma action going on....Besides....BlueBelle has NEVER EVER EVER been sick or had issues to take her to the vet (other than annual shots) so this was definately cause for alarm.

Diagnosis.....Bacterial Infection.....caused by some kind of poisoning....

P-I-O-S-O-N-I-N-G

Did you get that!!!!!!! BlueBelle has been poisoned!

They wanted to immediately hospitalize her and give her IV fluids and stuff.....I opted for fluids, but I was taking her home. They gave me a bunch of antibiotics and told me to watch her very closely. She was in a lot of pain (hense the problems walking and moving around) so they shot her full of painkillers and I took her home.

Im very excited to say that she is doing a lot better. The magma is less and things are getting back to normal. She can walk again, she can do the steps and this morning trotted thru the back yard barking....Im sure announcing to the neighbor in suspicion....that she was back, feeling good and NEENER NEENER!!!!!

Ill tell you what tho....It has NEVER crossed my mind that BlueBelle would or could ever get sick ...let alone die....Die....Die...Die....it has never even occured to me that one day she wont be there. They wanted to do a SENIOR screening panel on her.....my baby is now a senior.....

The reality has been incredibly emotional. Ive been prepping to loose Rock....never in a million years did it ever occur to me i some day will have to prep to loose my Blue.

Im a Patient Too

2008-09-10T16:31:00.000-06:00

The last few weeks, ive spent a great deal of time on the phone with nurses, APRNs and doctors. I haven’t felt good most of my life and now that I am in a sound mind I am trying to get things taken care of. I have the BiPolar under control and thought I had reproductive issued under control too. As it turns out, I don’t. Ive progressively been getting sicker and sicker. Two weeks ago, I spent 4 days out of work laying in bed because I emotionally, mentally and physically couldn’t get out of bed. I contacted my doctor that treats the BiPolar and we decided that maybe it was time to take short disability to get stabilized.

So I got a hold of HR and got the forms, talked with my boss, and was deciding on a time line to be gone. And then a few days later....POOF!!!!! All is back to normal and I feel fine again.

After some major internal figuring, I figured out that this bout was due to hormones. I have gone off a medication that my doctor gave me to help with high blood pressure and helped hormonally because it was causing my hands and feet to swell so bad I couldn’t wear shoes or bend my fingers.

So I called the doctors office and left a message with the nurse. The nurse called me back and after I explained everything that had been happening including the swelling and going off the medication had cured the swelling issue she said “That’s not what the medication is supposed to do so Im sure that’s not what was causing the swelling.”

I replied, “well that may not be what the med is supposed to do but that is what it did to me.”

Nurse: “how do you know it was the medication we gave you that was making you swell?”

Me: “Because I went off everything else for a time and it was still happening. When I got back on everything else and got off the medication, IT STOPPED.”

Nurse: “It’s a diuretic, it doesn’t make you swell. It does the opposite.”

Me: “Yes I know that. I know that this pill is what was causing the swelling. I need something else.”

Nurse: “Well that’s not what this drug does so this sounds like its your problem and youll need to talk to the APRN or the Doctor. Please make an appointment” CLICK….transferred to the reception.

OH HELL NO!!!!!

I set up and appoint and went to see the APRN.

Now I want you all to know I LOOOOOVE my doctor and I used to love the APRN…….

I went to my appointment on Sept 3, 2008 at 8:45. She got me really fast which was nice. I asked the med assistant the name of the nurse for my doctor and took note.

The APRN came in and we started talking about everything. I told her my deductions and that I believed that this was a hormone problem and I need it fixed. She proceeded to blame it all on the BiPolar. I told her that I had that completely under control and I was 100% monitored and I KNOW that’s not what was going. I said “this is a hormone problem and this office works with hormones. I need this office to fix this hormone problem.”

She was very cordial and said she knew some people and would make some phone calls to see if she could get some help with getting my answers answered and my problems fixed. I was very grateful.

She came and went and came and went between calls. Then came back and sat down and said “I think maybe we should try an internist. Can I make a referral?”

Me: “no. thank you. Im done. Im done with doctors that are passing me around and around because they don’t want to take the time to listen and help me. So no. Im done.”

APRN: “what do you mean youre done?”

Me: “Im done trying to get help so I feel good and no one listening. I done. I want you to help me right now and I don’t want you to pass me off. I don’t feel good and this is why and this is your area of expertise…..YOU FIX IT.”

APRN: “I can see youre frustrated….”

Me: “Frustrated doesn’t eve BEGIN to describe what Im feeling. FIX IT.”

APRN: “let me make some more calls and see what I can do. For now I cant sit with you any longer I have other patients.”

Me: “So youll call me in a few days?”

APRN: “Yes.”

Me: “thank you. Ill expect your call.”

And I left.

Today is September 10, 2008. I called the office and left a message on Monday Sept 8. Got nothing. So this morning I called again and was told, when I asked if shes returning calls today, “shell do it it when she can and feels like it.” OH HELL NO!

And the beast was released!

“I want her to call me back this afternoon. Ive contacted an attorney and I want answers today.”

I received a call not even one minute later.

I was told that she had talked to a few people but didn’t like their answers and was still waiting on others. I told her thank you for calling me back and…”you have 3 weeks to solve this problem.”

APRN: “Whats in 3 weeks?”

Me: “that’s when this will probably happen again. My mother has retained an attorney.”

APRN: “why an attorney?”

Me: “Because in 3 weeks this might happen again, which means the probability of me committing suicide goes thru the roof.”

APRN: “let me talk to the dr and ill call you back in a bit.”

So heres my beef….why in the hell do I have to THREATEN to get some help? She has other patience to see I understand that, but shes WITH a patient right now and that patient is VERY upset!

Why am I not getting listened to or helped? Why do I have to get mean and nasty to get the HELP im PAYING for????? Since when is it ok to treat someone that is sick, upset and miserable like crap?

I have never ever in my life gotten angry with a doctor, or raise my voice to them….ive always had the opinion that they were helping me and I should respect that. BULL SHIT!

I am paying them and Ill be damned into hell if Im going to be treated like this. Im a patient too! Im paying to get helped and I will not be treated like nothing more than a number on chart!

Stay tuned……

Welcome to Reality???

2008-09-02T15:48:00.000-06:00

The best and the worst thing to happen me in my 32 years was FINALLY being diagnosed with BiPolar Disorder.

A little over a year ago-ish, I was in something far worse than despair. The darkness of anger, frustration and generally pissed off (I hate using that word!) was overwhelming my entire existence……and I finally couldn’t take it. I couldn’t leave my Earthly binds because of my beloved Rocky…..the ONLY thing that kept me bound. I past living and was ready to die. At my wits end, I made an appointment with a doctor with absolutely no hope for help or recovery.

I picked a name that appealed to me and sat in her waiting room. She called my name. I went back to her office, sat down, and couldn’t even speak. She sat there for a moment looking at me and then said the words that saved my life….”you don’t feel good do you?”

YES! Finally!!!! Finally someone saw it…..and someone had an answer to the pain. I broke down. After gaining composure, I was able to answer a barrage of questions she gently presented to me. And then….the words…..”I think we are going to try medicating you for BiPolar Disorder.” And the tears streamed again. Finally someone, someone named Angell, had listened to me and heard me. Finally someone wanted to help and knew how to help. Finally…..Relief……

My Angell handed me a prescription for Lithium……I was humiliated……and so relieved.

Pre-Lithium Life: Oh what a party! Life nearly on the edge! Fun! No cares, no conscience, taking no responsibility for really bad decisions and oh sooooooo many bad decisions!
Misery, despair, laying on the floor for days unable to move, cant sleep, cant eat. Tears constantly flowing and anger at the sound of the wind. Frustration beyond frustration, screaming, hatred, bitter, warrants……despair despair despair.

BiPolar Disorder is sooooo much fun in a mania and so miserable when coming out of it. Being medicated has calmed it all down, but with that also come this thing called a conscience….UNHEARD OF in the world of mania!!!!!

Ive spent most of my adult life without guilt, without remorse, without empathy, without sympathy, without reality and damnit! It was good there!

Lithium Life is good, but this conscience thing is almost unbearable! The guilt is awful! The empathy for beings I don’t even know is grueling! The reality that everyone around me lives in and im being forced to live in now, SUCKS!!!!!

There are days when I don’t know if the regained giggling and belly roll laughing is worth having to endure this reality. I cant do things like I used to…..i don’t work at warp speed and have the unnatural energy that I had in mania. My doctor says “youre not really super woman Jeannie. Youre a mortal in a mortal world…..and its ok…..thats the way its supposed to be.” Yeah that may be the way its supposed to be but when you haven’t lived in this reality your whole life, adjust to being “mere mortal” is really really hard!

So being diagnosed with BiPolar Disorder was wonderful…..living with BiPolar is not. Being able to function without the dramatic swings is wonderful!!!! It’s the rest of it that’s a little hard to take. But Im trying. Ill never be “normal” but at least Im not crazy!

My Favorite Commercials

2008-08-29T12:25:00.000-06:00

Work is really slow today so I was thinking about my favorite commercials. Here are a few.....

#1 Cadillac CTS: Khaki's

#1.1 DeBeers Diamond

#2 AT&T LG

#3 Progressive Insurance Suprise!

#4 Budwiezer Snowball Fight

#5 Macys YUM!!!!

Sucker

2008-08-26T12:46:00.000-06:00

Hi my name is Jeannie and Im a sucker.

I am a genuine sucker…..a sucker for a great smile, for a great line, for some tender words….im a sucker. Im easily played, im easily taken advantage of, and im easily hurt.

An update on that perfect date with that really great guy that disappeared out of the blue……WELL….last week I went into work and a woman I work with stopped me and told me that she had run into him (not ran OVER him!) over the weekend and he had said that he and I were dating and was so excited for me and why hadn’t I told her!?!?! My response….BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW!!!!

So I sent another email and this time got a response….i wont put exactly what it was but it was something like “the past couple weeks have been busy and my head has been a bit clouded. I meant to reply to your last email but couldn’t find the right words.”

I responded “I had a great time on our date. Im really glad we did it. And thank you for responding.” I thought that would be the end of it and I was finally feeling better and in some sort of control……and then……

His unexpected response came “I had a good time too and that’s probably what spooked me a little. I got scared and didn’t know exactly what to do from there.”

So lets be more vague. Oh and by all means, don’t call and make me feel insecure, angry and hurt!

I only need one word…IN or OUT.

This has gotten me sooooo upset and angry I couldn’t function at work so ive taken time off for the last 4 days. Ive contemplated going off my medication to I could stop being so upset….it last 2 days and I panicked…so now im stewing and angry.

IN or OUT!
IN or OUT!

And why cant I get over this? Whats the big deal?

I guess what the big deal is is im tired of always crushing on the wrong guy. The emotionally unavailable guy, the insecure guy, the overly confident guy, the guy with issues with his parents, or the lazy guy. I thought I have been honing my hunting skills but apparently im still just a sucker.

"Where does one go from a world of insanity? Somewhere on the other side of despair."
T S Eliot

The Utah Cliche

2008-08-24T12:15:00.000-06:00

I was at Lowes the other night and saw what I call the “Utah Cliché”….a tall blond with over done makeup, a tiny waist and huge boobs. She was probably a little older than me and strutting around the place in a mini skirt, tank top, wedges and “and I was Like hey no one talks to me like that and he was like…blah blah blah” on her cell phone. The complete “Utah Cliché”.

A friend of mine that just moved here from Georgia said that he has never been anywhere in the world where the women are built like they are here. He then drew me a picture to illustrate his observances that cracked me up! (it was a stick figure with HUGE boobs!)

He said that he had never been anywhere where the women compete so hard with eachother. Where they have to have the best of the best and then they have to show it off. He said it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen.

I read on line a few days ago that Salt Lake City was ranked THE VAINEST city in the United States. That Salt Lake had more plastic surgeons and more plastic surgeries performed than any other place in the USA….including CALIFORNIA!

Why? Well I haven’t figured it out yet, but I was born with the assets that apparently are in so high demand so I haven’t felt the urge to keep up with Mrs. Jones. In fact, ive spent most of my life lamenting my breast size. But I work with a bunch of women that have been nipped, tucked, fluffed and stuffed……turned into “Utah’s Cliché”.

I spent most of my life concealing what I was given naturally…..to be taken seriously, to not stick out (literally), and because I was one out of 50.

The thing that bothers me about the “Utah Cliché”, and I don’t think its actually the women that bothers me, but the men…..Apparently what these women are paying $5k for that God gave me naturally, is more appealing to the male species. The soft subtle natural lines aren’t as appealing as the not so soft, unnatural, sometimes seams showing implant.

What it boils down to, Ive decided, is the media has create this “perfect image” of what a woman should look like….the unnaturally perfectly round breasts. Its not ok for gravity to have any part of nature either. I was asked once, by a man on line contemplating meeting me when I was 28 years old “how do your breasts look? I know your 28, do your breasts show it?” I was mortified.

That comment has made me crazy paranoid about them…..UNFAIRLY! I have a fabulous rack and they are 32 years old! And who dares judge me by my breasts? I don’t judge a man by his penis size, shape or whatever, I don’t look at a man and think, “hmmm….hes 38….i wonder if his peck muscles, ass muscles, and penis show it?” So why do men do that to women? Why does society dictate that that’s appropriate to do?

<====What happens to the Utah Cliche!

Three Loves

2008-08-20T16:43:00.000-06:00

In my life I love three things.....the idea of an eternal Love, BlueBelle and Big Rock. Since "eternal love" cant be captured on film, I thought Id share pics of my other two loves! Check out my sensational babies! I have waaaaay more of Rock becuase he loooooves the camera. When Blue hears the shutter open shes runs off into hiding.

Its a Pitty

2008-08-15T15:59:00.000-06:00

As more and more cities in Utah are trying to pass Breed Specific Legislation, I have been trying to find more and more studies and documentation to prove that Breed Specific Legislation is outlandish, immoral, takes our rights away as citizens and is no better than racial profiling. Here is an article I recently found while researching info to take to Sandy City City Council. Pretty interesting stuff.......

Assessment of Canine Temperament in Relation to Breed Groups
Scot E. Dowd Ph.D.
Matrix Canine Research Institute.
PO BOX 1332, Shallowater, TX 79363,
sdowd@canineresearch.org , http://www.canineresearch.org .

Abstract
Breed specific legislations (BSL), are laws that discriminate against dogs of specific breeds and
breed groups. BSL similar to human racial profiling is based upon the premise that certain breed
types are more dangerous to humans because of genetic temperament predispositions. The
American Pit Bull Terrier and the American Staffordshire Terrier are the breeds most targeted by BSL. In the current study, the temperaments of over 25,000 dogs, of various breeds, have been evaluated including 1136 dogs from the pit bull group and 469 American Pit Bull Terriers. Using results of a rigorous pass-fail temperament test, designed to evaluate characteristics such as human aggression, these analyses statistically evaluated the proportion of dogs categorized by
breed groups (e.g. sporting, pit bull, hound, toy, terrier) passing. Interestingly, results show that
the pit bull group had a significantly higher passing proportion (p < p =" 0.78)"> This study has provided data to indicate the classification of dog breed groups with respect to their inherent temperament, as part of BSL, may lack scientific credibility. Breed stereotyping, like racial profiling, ignores the complex environmental factors that contribute to canine temperament and behavior.

Introduction
“Pit bull and pit bull type dogs, including any dog that possesses physical characteristics of pit bull and pit bull-type breeds” is a common phrase found in much current legislation. This language is both vague and open to interpretation. The term “pit bull” is an unofficial breed group, usually encompasses between 4 and 10 individual, pure breeds of dog, including the American Pit Bull Terrier and American Staffordshire Terrier among others. Thus, in most previously reported statistics related to dog bites and deaths (Sacks et al., 1989; Sacks et al., 1996a; Sacks et al., 1996b) pit bull types including dogs of questionable genetic background have been grouped together by the nondescript term “pit bull”. In these publications, these compiled groups of breeds, termed “pit bulls”, were compared statistically against individual breeds. In addition, the authors of these studies have noted within the publications that their statistics could not be normalized using the population of dogs in question. These facts invalidate the results of these studies in relation to the noted pit bull group, from any reasonable epidemiological or public health perspective.

Ultimately, by creatively grouping many pure breeds of dog under a non-precise term “pit bull”, such analyses artificially created larger populations of animals promoting bias in the results of these studies (CDC, 1997; CDC, 2003; AVMA, 2001). It has been documented that there is little usefulness in using BSL as an attempt to protect a community’s citizens from dog attacks/bites (CDC, 1997; CDC, 2003; AVMA, 2001). BSL is based on the assumption that there are genetic differences among breeds with regard to their temperament that make them inherently dangerous. However, the genetic make-up of an individual dog, of any breed, is only one of many components that may enhance a dogs relative potential to be aggressive toward humans.

This presents us with the scientific question “Are the breeds and breed groups most often targeted by BSL lacking stability of temperament as postulated by breed specific legislation?” If not, perhaps the true problem with any dangerous dog, of any breed, is more likely that of environment, nurture, and careless ownership, which are not addressed by BSL.

If we seek to define temperament across entire breeds or breed groups the testing of a sufficiently large percentage of the population must be performed. In the current study, we present the results of the largest defined and uniform temperament test performed on canines (over 25,000 dogs representing pure breeds and mixed breeds) that were derived from across the United States, as part of the American Temperament Testing Societies (ATTS) Temperament Test. Here we have provided new and novel analyses of these data in relation to breed groups including the legislatively created “pit bull” (pit bull group). In addition, an analysis of the single breed most often associated with the non-descript term “pit bull” (the American Pit Bull Terrier) is compared against all other breed groups.

Materials and Methods
Animals
In the current study, the temperaments of 25,726 dogs, of various breeds, have been evaluated
including 1136 dogs from the pit bull group and 469 American Pit Bull Terriers. All dogs were at least 18 months old. The majority of dogs tested can be characterized as healthy, well fed, and well-cared for dogs. Public notices of temperament tests were typically posted and promoted in a variety of ways, which included posting notices at local dog clubs, shelters, pet stores, internet message boards, mailing lists where exposure to dog owners was expected to be highest. Inclusion in the temperament tests was voluntary and dogs were only required to be over the age of 18 months to participate. Over the course of this study tests were held in all 48 continuous states except North Dakota, South Dakota and Vermont. The states in which higher numbers of tests have been held included California, Michigan, Florida, Georgia, Missouri, and Illinois. The diverse regional distribution across the United States contributed no bias to the analyses presented (p = 0.22 data not shown).

Breed Groups:
For statistical analyses of the data, the breeds were placed into “breed groups”. The groupings of the breeds are shown in the supplemental table at the end of the document and are consistent with the classification schemes of both the United Kennel Club (UKC; www.ukcdogs.com) and the American Kennel Club (AKC; http://www.akc.org/).

Temperament test
Three separate and extensively trained Licensed Testers oversaw each Temperament Test including secondary oversight by a Chief Tester. All Testers undergo a lengthy apprenticeship prior to being allowed to evaluate actual tests. In short, the Tester goes through three levels - an Apprentice Tester, Provisional Tester, Licensed Tester and Chief Tester. A Chief Tester oversaw all levels of Tester training and evaluated Licensed Testers pass fail scores and sub-test evaluations of each dog for accuracy and consistency. For each level (Apprentice, Provisional), the Tester must evaluate at least 60 dogs, as well as acted as a station worker for each of the sub-tests described below.

Before certification as a Licensed Tester is complete, both a written and video scored exam
must also be passed. Only Licensed Testers results were counted while Apprentice and
Provisional evaluations if performed during a temperament test were used for training purposes
only.

The Temperament Test was broken up into individual categories that evaluate specific temperament-based characteristics. Each Category was further broken up into sub-tests. Each sub-test was evaluated on a rigorous pass, or fail, scoring system. Failure of any sub-test resulted in a failure of the entire temperament test.

During the temperament test each dog was presented on a loose six-foot (6’) lead. The handlers, which were typically the owners of the dogs, were not allowed to talk to the dog, give commands, or give corrections. One of the 3 Licensed Testers guided the handlers through the course after a brief explanation at the beginning while the other 2 Licensed Testers observed. The specific courses, because of different geographic locations, availability of resources, and weather conditions were slightly variable, though all key aspects of each sub-test were maintained uniformly for all subjects and test situations. As noted previously, dogs were tested with a set of behavioral categories that were divided into individual sub-tests. All sub-tests were designed to
individually measure various aspects of temperament. As noted, if any of the individual sub-tests were failed, then the entire test was considered failed. To obtain a passing score on the temperament test, all sub-tests must have been completed successfully. Failure of a sub-test was recognized when a dog shows unprovoked aggression, panic without immediate recovery (within 5 seconds), or exhibited strong avoidance behavior. These behaviors as part of temperament tests have been defined extensively in the literature (Slabbert and Odendaal, 1999; Seksel et al., 1999; Svartberg, 2002; Ruefenacht et al., 2002; van den Berg et al., 2003; Fuchs et al., 2005).

The 5 categories and 10 sub-tests are as follows:
Category 1: Behavior toward strangers.
The objective of this behavioral category was to measure the dog’s reaction to strangers in a nonthreatening situation. No fearful or aggressive behavior is permitted in this category.

Sub-test 1: Neutral stranger
This sub-test evaluated the dog’s reaction to non interactive or passive socialization and measured potential aggression. In this test, a neutral normal acting person, who was also a stranger to the dog, approached the handler, shook hands with the
handler, and engaged the handler in a brief conversation. The stranger must ignore the dog.

Sub-test 2: Friendly stranger
This sub-test evaluates the affects of interactive social interaction with a stranger and measured the dogs potential for nervousness or non-social behavior. In this test, a person, who was a stranger to the dog, approached happily and briskly, ignored the owner, and directed their attention immediately at the dog. The stranger spoke, in a friendly voice, to the dog then reached down to pet the dog.

Category 2: Reaction to Auditory Stimuli.
The objective of this category was to provide a measure of the dog’s reaction to auditory stimuli. In this test careful evaluation of fearful reaction were made by each Licensed Tester. In general, the dog should not break away from the handler nor hit the end of the 6’ lead before recovery and investigative behavior. In other words, as an extreme example, the dog may hunch or tense momentarily or even appear startled but must recover within 5 seconds. Dogs could also seek to investigate the source of the sound. Aggressive behavior in any form was not permitted.

Sub-test 3: Hidden Noise
This sub-test evaluated the dog’s response to a hidden, sudden, and loud noise and measures the dog’s ability to recover from sudden unknown sounds. In this sub-test, the handler and the dog approached a hidden assistant who loudly rattled a metal bucket filled with rocks and set this bucket in the path of the dog.

Sub-test 4: Gunshots
This sub-test evaluated the dog’s ability to recover from a sudden and loud noise. In this sub-test, the handler stopped at a designated marker with his/her back towards a well-hidden assistant. The assistant fired three shots using a .22 caliber starter pistol (SHOT-PAUSE-SHOT-SHOT).

Category 3: Reaction to Sudden Visual Stimulus
The objective of this category was to provide a measure of the dog’s reaction to a sudden visual
stimulus. In this test careful evaluation of fearfull reactions were made by each Licensed Tester. In general, the dog should not break away from the handler nor hit the end of the 6’ lead before
recovery and investigative behavior. In other words, the dog may hunch momentarily or appear
startled but was required to recover within 5 seconds and evaluate the source of the sound.
Fear reactions beyond this or lack of recover within 5 seconds was considered a failure. Aggressive behavior in any form was not permitted.

Sub-test 5: Umbrella
This sub-test evaluated the dog’s reaction to sudden motion and a strange object and measures the dog’s visual responsiveness. In this sub-test, the handler and dog approached an assistant sitting in a chair holding a closed umbrella parallel to the ground at a 90 degree angle to the dog and handler. When the dog was five feet from the assistant, the umbrella was opened suddenly. The handler’s focus was required to remain on the umbrella, not on the dog.

Category 4: Tactile Stimuli.
The objective of this category was to measure the dog’s reaction to unusual footing, its ability to
recover from the fear of unusual footing, and to measure its investigative behavior to the unusual
footing.

Sub-test 6: Plastic Footing
In this sub-test, both the handler and the dog were required to walk the entire length of a 15-foot by 6- foot clear plastic strip. The dog can appear uncomfortable or can notice the obstacle but must continue walking. If the dog avoided the surface or sought to escape across or back on the surface, it was considered a failure.

Sub-test 7: Wire Footing
In this sub-test, the handler walked beside the obstacle rather than on it, as in sub-test 6. The dog was required to walk the entire length of a 12-foot by 3-foot unfolded exercise pen (X-Pen). X-Pens were typically 12-gauge wire panels with 1 x 2 inch weave. Similar to above, if the dog avoided the surface or sought to escape across or back on the surface, it was considered a failure. Category 5: Self-Protective and Aggressive Behavior. The objective of this category was to collectively evaluate the dog’s capacity to recognize an unusual situation, its threshold to provocation, its protective instincts, and its propensity to realize when a situation became a threat. The stranger was never closer than 10 feet from the dog. This was roughly measured as being 18 feet from the handler with consideration for the length of the leash and the handlers arm reach.

Sub-test 8: Non-Threatening Stranger
This sub-test evaluated the dog’s reaction to a nonthreatening stranger that was dressed in unusual clothing. The purpose of this sub-test was to test the dog’s alertness to an unusual situation. The handler and dog team stopped at a designated marker as instructed by the Tester. The strangely dressed stranger crossed the path 38 feet in front of the team. The dog could take notice of the stranger but could not react with more than curiosity. Any aggressive behavior or fearful behavior was considered a failure.

Sub-test 9: Threatening Stranger
This sub-test evaluated the same situation as above but evaluated the dog’s ability to recognize when an unusual situation turned into a provocation. Picking up at the end of sub-test 9, the strangely dressed stranger suddenly advanced10 feet (from 38 feet to 28 feet) towards the stationary handler in a threatening manner (defined as a fast tense marching with arms above head and eyes glaring at the dog). The dog could take notice of the stranger and was allowed to respond in a protective manner only (defined as placing themselves in front of the handler) but could not act fearful or aggressive.

Sub-test 10: Aggressive Stranger
This sub-test evaluated the dog’s protective instincts and aggression restraint. By necessity, this test was judged subjectively only in relation to the breed’s standard requirements for temperament and in relation to a dogs training in protection or sports such as Schutzhund, only if such protection training was indicated by the handler at the beginning of the Temperament Test. Thus, guardian breeds such as the German Shepherd could act with controlled aggression (defined as barking warningly), while breeds that are not categorized by breed standards (UKC or AKC) as guardians, or that were not trained for protection (e.g. Schutzhund), could not. In this sub-test, the weird stranger again advanced to within 10 feet of the dog in a wilder and more aggressive manner (defined as above but with arms waving and loud vocalizations of anger). The dog could move to a protective position in front of the owner. The dog could not show fear or act overtly or with uncontrolled aggressive behavior (wildly lunging and aggressively barking and growling) regardless of breed or training. Breeds such as the American Pit Bull Terrier, which is not defined as a guardian breed, and whose standard specifically states that human aggression is not part of the breed standard, could not show any aggressive behavior only protective behavior. If undue or overt aggression or fear were displayed by any dog this sub-test was failed.

Statistics
Sample size
To determine if the sample size in this study was large enough to generalize across the entire United States’ population of dogs, a Sample size analyses was conducted using infinity as the expected population size. To be conservative a maximum allowable difference of 0.01, confidence of 0.99, and population proportion of 0.5 were used. This resulted in a required sample size of 16,588 dogs (Thompson, 1992). Thus, with over 25,000 dogs tested, we had a sample size that could easily be generalized across all dogs in the United States, even if there were an infinite number of dogs (Thompson, 1992). Significant differences between proportions were analyzed using the following equations:

Our null hypothesis was:(PLEASE GO TO http://www.canineresearch.org/ and click on the Assessment of Canine Temperament in Relation to Breed Groups to get the formulas since they wouldn’t come thru on this document) Which means the proportion of dogs passing the temperament test in a given group were not significantly different to the proportion of dogs passing the temperament test in the second group)

In all cases, we utilized a comparison of proportion of dogs passing the temperament test to determine if p1 was statistically greater or less than p2. In addition, to prevent type I error, Bonferroni correction was made to results in order to keep the overall experiment error rate to 5%.

Results
A total of 206 different breeds were evaluated using the American Temperament Test Society
evaluation. The total number of dogs evaluated in this study was 25,726, the total number of dogs passing the test 20,848, and the total failing the test 4,878. The average percentage of all dogs passing was 81.71%. To illustrate the power and significance of the statistical evaluation presented here, the sampling distribution of the proportions p1- p2 are approximately normal as long as the proportions of dogs passing in each group are not too close to 1.0 or 0.0, and the sample sizes are not too small. In our case, the sample size was extremely large (actual over twice the suggested sample size calculations generated for a population of infinite size) and the proportion did not approach 0.0 or 1.0 for any of the groups analyzed, thereby validating the choice of statistical models. The raw data is summarized in Table 1.

Table 1. The number of dogs in each breed group evaluated (n), passed all sub-tests of the temperament test (X), failed at least one sub-test, and the percentage of dogs that passed the temperament test.

GROUP TOTAL DOGS TOTAL DOGS TOTAL DOGS %PASSING

TESTED (n) PASSED (x) FAILD

Sporting 3181 2719 462 85.48%
Pit Bull 1136 960 176 84.50%
Mixed 680 579 101 85.10%
APBT 469 391 78 83.40%
Terrier 1860 1526 334 82.04%
Working 9111 7341 1770 80.57%
Herding 7885 6319 1566 80.14%
Toy 529 421 108 79.60%
Hound 1379 1062 317 77.01%
ALL 25726 20848 4878 81.04%

The results of statistical analysis for the breed groupings are provided in Table 2. The group that had the highest proportion of breed groups passing the temperament test was the sporting group (85.48%), followed by the pit bull group (84.50%). The groups that failed, with the lowest proportion of dogs passing the temperament test, were the toy (79.01%) and hound groups (77.01%). The groups were compared to determine if there was a significant difference in the proportion of dogs from each group that passed the temperament test. It was found that there were no significant differences between the proportion of dogs passing in the two groups with the highest passing percentages (sporting group and the pit bull group). Both of these breed groups performed significantly better (p > 0.05) than all other groups. The toy and hound group passed at significantly lower rates (p < color="#cc33cc">Following Bonferroni correction the pit bull group still maintained a significantly higher passing percentage than all pure breed groups except Sporting and Terrier (Bonferroni corrected p <>
Table 2. Results of the statistical z-test with bonferroni correction.

Comparisons Z Value B p Value Bonferroni Conclusion
PBG vs Toy 2.48 <0.00 pbg="Pit" s="Significant" ns="Non" value =" Bonferonni" color="#ff0000">As a pure breed analyzed on its own merit, the American Pit Bull Terrier evaluations showed there was no significant difference even with the group with highest proportion of dogs passing (Sporting Group). As noted the sporting group contains some of the more publicly accepted (as dogs of stable or good temperament) including Golden Retrievers and Labrador Retrievers. More notably, the American Pit Bull Terriers showed significantly higher proportion of dogs passing the test than hounds, herding, working, and toy groups (Table 3).

Table 3. This table provides the results of the z-test and the significance of the test against the null hypothesis.

Comparisons z Value p Value Conclusion
APBT vs Toy 1.5324 0.0627 APBT Higher Pass Rate
APBT vs Work 1.4965 0.0673 APB T High Pass Rate
APBT vs Sport -1.2 0.8849 No Difference
APBT vs Herding 1.709 0.0437 APBT Higher Pass Rate
APBT vs Terrier 0.6725 0.2506 No Difference
APBT vs Hound 2.9 0.0019 APBT High Pass Rate
APBT vs Mixed -0.817 0.793 No Difference
PBG vs APBT 0.5682 0.295 No Difference

Discussion
Murphy (1997) published a manuscript that defined categories of temperament in dogs. Murphy (1997) used a similar temperament test to that described here but focused on a total of 89 dogs, which were primarily Golden Retrievers. The American Kennel Club (2005) established the Canine Good Citizen test and title, which has a slightly less stringent testing procedure, to establish criteria for determining a dog to be a “good member of society”. Most publications that evaluate the temperament of dogs have utilized temperament tests and definitions of behavior that are similar to the temperament test described here (Slabbert and Odendaal, 1999; Seksel et al., 1999; Svartberg, 2002; Ruefenacht et al., 2002; van den Berg, Schilder and Knol, 2003; Fuchs et al., 2005). As part of the current study the number of animals evaluated and the evaluation of breeds within groups minimized potential extraneous bias such as founder effects, sex effects, age effects, and breed representation effects. Observer bias is minimized by standardized training of judges, requiring agreement among 3 separate licensed Testers, and by utilizing a pass fail testing structure with defined behavioral requirements.

Here we provide a concise definition of temperament as, an individual’s exhibited, predictable, and measurable behavior patterns displayed in response to environmental stimuli. In higher vertebrate animals temperament is predominantly influenced by age, sex, socialization, health, and genetics.

The concept of temperament must be focused on the individual dog and if we seek to encompass entire families, breeds, breed groups, or species this concept must by necessity become more and more general and broadly encompassing. This is the failure of BSL as a logical solution to ownership problems because the vast majority of pit bulls and APBT are shown to be of good temperament. Plomin et al. (1990) remarked that behavioral differences exist not only between species but also between individuals of the same species. As an example that is easy to digest, we can assume for instance that almost all Golden Retrievers are friendly toward humans. However, Golden Retrievers can be raised in such as way to make them aggressive toward humans (Edwards, 1991; Knol et al., 1998; van den Berg et al., 2003; Kwant, 2004).

In support of the current data, a study by Böttjer (2003) evaluated aggressive behaviour of 347 dogs belonging to the American Staffordshire Terrier, Bullterrier, Staffordshire Bullterrier, Rottweiler, Doberman Pincher breeds, and a catchall pit bull group. Only 3.75% of the dogs failed the Temperament Test and were therefore noted as having dangerous aggressive behaviour (not toward humans) towards other dogs. The assessment of the breeds groups showed that neither the pit bull group, nor the American Staffordshire Terrier, displayed a significant difference between the single breeds and breed types. The results of the Böttjer study, like the current study, showed that the BSL assumptions based upon inherent differences in “dangerousness” across entire breeds was not justified.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC, 1997; CDC, 2003) has indicated that BSL
has no merit. They indicate that “Dangerous dog laws”, which focus on individual dogs, regardless of breed, that have exhibited harmful behavior (e.g., unprovoked attacks on persons or animals) are both logical and enforceable without violating the rights of citizens or declaring individual animals guilty even though the majority are of sound temperament. The CDC indicates that the most logical approach is to place primary responsibility for a dog’s behavior on the owner, rather than the dogs breed. The CDC indicates that legislation and programs focused on ownership responsibility as well as owner and child education are the keys to a safer canine population. The American Veterinary Medical Association (2001) Task Force on Canine Aggression and Human-Canine Interactions also state that Breed Specific Legislation has no merit and that targeting those individual dogs, of any breed, that commit acts of aggression, directly addresses the problem.

Conclusion
Previously published bite statistics when groups are compared to individual breeds are unrepresentative as corroborated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the American Veterinary Medical Association (CDC, 1997; CDC, 2003; AVMA, 2005). The current study has statistically shown, based on a defined temperament test, that the classification of dog breeds and dog breed types (breed groups), with respect to their aggressiveness toward humans is not supported scientifically. The complex and contributing conditions related to the upbringing of individual dogs are not considered by BSL and such laws unfairly target the vast majority of individual dogs, which are temperamentally stable. The temperaments of animals are fundamentally and universally acknowledged to be influenced by age, sex, early socialization, early nutrition, training, health and genetics, while BSL only takes one of these factors into account.

Supplimental Table. This table provides the groupings of breeds used for statistical analyses.
APBT Group American Pit Bull Terrier

Pit Bull Group: Bull Terrier, BullDoggue, American Bulldog, Boston Terrier, Staffordshire
Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, and American Pit Bull Terrier.

Hound Group: Afghan Hound, American Foxhound, Basenji, Basset Hound, Beagle, Black
and Tan Coonhound, Bloodhound, Bluetick Coonhound, Borzoi, Dachshund
(Miniature Longhaired), Dachshund (Miniature Smooth), Dachshund
(Miniature Wirehaired), Dachshund (Standard Longhaired), Dachshund
(Standard Smooth), Dachshund (Standard Wirehaired), English Foxhound,
Greyhound, Ibizan Hound, Irish Wolfhound, Norwegian Elkhound,
Otterhound, Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen, Pharaoh Hound, Rhodesian
Ridgeback, Saluki, Scottish Deerhound.

Terrier Group: Airedale Terrier, American Pit Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier,
American Tunnel Terrier, Australian Terrier, Bedlington Terrier, Border
Terrier, Bull Terrier, Cairn Terrier, Dandie Dinmont Terrier, Irish Terrier,
Kerry Blue Terrier, Lakeland Terrier, Manchester Terrier, Miniature Bull
Terrier, Miniature Schnauzer, Norfolk Terrier, Norwich Terrier, Parson
Russell Terrier, Scottish Terrier, Sealyham Terrier, Skye Terrier, Smooth
Fox Terrier, Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Welsh
Terrier, West Highland White Terrier, Wire Fox Terrier.

Herding Group: Australian Cattle Dog, Australian Kelpie, Australian Shepherd, Bearded
Collie, Belgian Laekenois, Belgian Malinois, Belgian Sheepdog, Belgian
Tervuren, Border Collie, Bouvier Des Flanders, Briard, Canaan Dog, Collie,
Cardigan Welsh Corgi, German Shepherd Dog, Giant Schnauzer,
Catahoula Leopard Dog, Old English Sheepdog, Pembroke Welsh Corgi,
Puli, Shetland Sheepdog, Standard Schnauzer, Texas Heeler, Pembroke
Welsh Corgi, Shiloh Shepherd, Swedish Vallhund, Welsh Sheepdog

Sporting Group: American Water Spaniel, Brittany Spaniel, Boykin Spaniel, Chesapeake
Bay Retriever, Clumber Spaniel, Cocker Spaniel, Curly-Coated Retriever,
English Cocker Spaniel, English Setter, English Springer Spaniel, Field
Spaniel, Flat-Coated Retriever, German Shorthaired Pointer, German
Wirehaired Pointer, Golden Retriever, Gordon Setter, Irish Setter, Irish
Water Spaniel, Labrador Retriever, Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever,
Pointer, Portuguese Water Dog, Spinone Italiano, Sussex Spaniel, Tibetan
Spaniel, Vizsla, Weimaraner, Welsh Springer Spaniel, Standard Poodle.

Working Group: Rottweiler, Doberman Pinscher, Akbash Dog, Akita, Alaskan Malamute,
Anatolian Shepherd Dog, Bernese Mountain Dog, Boxer, Bullmastiff, Dogo
Argentino, Dogue De Bordeaux, Estrala Mountain Dog, Giant Schnauzer,
Great Dane, Great Pyrenees, Greater Swiss Mountain dog, Kuvasz,
Leonberger, Mastiff, Neapolitan Mastiff, Newfoundland, Polski Owczarek
Nizinny, Portuguese Water Dog, Presa Canario, Saint Bernard, Samoyed,
Siberian Husky, Standard Schnauzer, Tosa

Toy Group : Miniature Poodle, Miniature Pinscher, Toy Poodle, Manchester Terrier,
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Shih Tzu, Pug, Yorkshire Terrier,
Chihuahua, Pomeranian, Chinese Crested Dog, Silky Terrier, Pekingese,
Toy Manchester Terrier, Tibetan Terrier, Brussels Griffon, Toy Fox terrier,
Havanese, Japanese Chin.

Mixed: All dogs that were not identified as pure bred.

Citations
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2. AVMA (2001) American Veterinary Medical
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3. Böttjer, A. (2003) Intraspecific aggressive
behaviour of five breeds of dogs and the
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Dangerous Animals Act of Lower Saxony,
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http://www.akc.org
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behaviour test in German shepherd dogs in
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temperament of potential guide dogs.
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of temperament in potential guide dogs for
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E., 1990. Behavioural Genetics: A Primer.
W.H. Freeman, New York, 32
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Miyake, T., Gaillard, C., 2002. A behaviour
test on German Shepherd dogs: heritability
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Sci. 79, 113-132
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1996a. Dog bites: how big a problem?
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83.

Too Available

2008-08-11T14:40:00.000-06:00

Today I was talking to one of the men in the office and was telling him about "Mr. Perfect". The friend said "I dated you.....youre too available."

TOO AVAILABLE??? Scuse me?

Well thats what I am....Im available. I am available to go on a date with you, talk to you on the phone, text you....I am available.

So "being available" apparently warrants poor behaviour. "Being Available" is a state which no person should ever be? Ah yes....a game. Those nasty little things that mess up everything.

Someone please explain why "being available" is such a bad thing? Im perfectly happy with my life and my life consists of being available to anyone at any time. I like it. And now I am finding its an excuse to be treated poorly.

Own Up!

2008-08-09T17:10:00.000-06:00

Last week I went on THE best date I have ever been on. The man was a perfect gentleman and we both had a great time. I actually felt comfortable....familiar almost. He even called the next day which as we all know is THE BEST thing to transpire after a date. It denotes respect, interest and even a second date on the horizon. I thought I had found the perfect man......

SUPRISE!

Texting, emailing, calling every single day! It was fabulous!

We had our second date which I thought went really well. There was some kissing, which was nice, and some good convo.....but the next day???? NADA.....yeah.....absolutely nothing.....

And the day after that??? NOTHING

And the day after that??? NOTHING

I have been racking my brain trying to figure out how something so seemingly good went absolutely not good. Ive read the book "Hes Just Not That Into You" and it says that hes not into you if he just up and disappears with no word. Its best to just let it go and move on.

But how do you move on when you work with the guy and when you see him at work he just waves and knods like nothing happened?

AND.....why the hell should I just settle for "NOTHING"? The book says that a "real man" wouldnt do that and why would you waste your time with a man that doesnt have enough balls to discuss whatever the issue is.

I agree....BUT....im also PMSing so I sent him an email that very gently (and im not being sarcastic) said "....if youre not interested that ok, but please say so so I can stop thinking about this."

Heres why I just put my ego & heart in the guillotine.....I want people in my life to starting OWNING UP TO THEIR DISGUSTING BEHAVIOUR! I am not a punching bag.....I am good person with a lot of love and a huge heart and Im not understanding why PEOPLE seem to think its ok to just crap (for lack of better word) all over me. OWN UP!

And for anyone curious as to his reasoning.....NOTHING......he has never responded.

Dating Over 30

2008-08-07T13:31:00.000-06:00

The funnest part of my life was at the age of 27. I had recovered from a divorce and after two years of seclusion was ready to date! It was perfect! I wasn’t to old for the young men and I wasn’t to young for the older men. I was right there….perfect!

I lived 27 up! Dated and dated and dated!

Well 27 doesn’t last long and 30 sneaks up on you. And there I was….30. Thirty wasn’t so bad….not as much fun as 27 but not bad. Most of my friends are older than me so they were in their mid 30s….having babies….a feat Im still not quite ready for. The dating slowed down a little, I started to get a little more jaded to love and now….now im 32 and the fun dating life as I used to know seems to have come to a screeeeeeeching halt!

I have been forced to revert back to the online scene…..but the online scene I am finding is completely different for 32 year old Mormon woman than it was for a 27 year old Mormon woman. The men my age are looking for women younger…..27 year olds. The men younger are afraid of the 32 year old and the men older…..well im not ready for a retirement home quite yet.

As I go thru the online profiles of all these men that write about how much the love sports and sports are so awesome and the out doors rocks and how they want an athletic girl that wears high heels when playing football with them, I cant help but think that the expectations of men AND WOMEN are so completely far fetched and jaded that its damn near impossible to find someone to be a companion. If I wrote a bio HALF as imaginary as what these men are writing, Id never ever have one of them look. And yet, when I write the truth (own my own home, love to laugh til I snort, don’t like sports but will bet against you or go to live game) I don’t get looked at. So whats a girl to do? LIE????? Im not a liar (due to a wicked guilt complex).

Maybe its not the age that’s scary, maybe its just me, but I don’t remember having this much trouble at 27.

Riding the Bullet

2008-07-17T11:20:00.000-06:00

Riding the Bullet

Last night I had a nightmare that my friend had wrecked his bullet bike. In the morning I talked to him about and told him how upsetting it was. He said “I just don’t understand why people hate bullet bikes so much.” So I told him…..

#1 – its not that people hate the bike…..we hate the person driving it. It seems that when the driver gets on the bike the brain stays behind. Weaving, speeding, cutting people off, just to mention a few of the annoyances of bullet riders.

#2 – we (automobile drivers) have a hard time seeing bullet riders because they are small bikes with seriously brain dead riders on them that think its ok to weave, speed and be general jerks.

And then I slipped and my mouth went on before my brain and I told my 38 year old friend……

#3 – and come on! If youre over the age of 30 grow up and get a mans bike already!

Oops!!

But that’s ok, I don’t feel bad about that comment because its damn true! Sorry guys! You look retarded trying to grasp at your 20s and most women will agree, after 30 you look way sexier on a nice “grownups” bike than on a bike we associate with the frat boy we made out with cuz we were 18 and thought he looked cute in those shorts and ball cap when riding the bullet.

<----- Sexy!